As a kid, I didn’t really get death. I mean, I knew it eventually would happen to everybody but I didn’t really have any deaths close to me for a long time. One grandfather passed away long before I was born and the other when I was too young to understand. As I’ve gotten older it’s become more and more of a relate-able issue for me, and that kind of makes me really miss being a kid.
Every year, I feel like I have more dates to reflect back on another life lost and it’s not getting any easier to deal with. Yesterday I got a phone call that I didn’t expect and these past twenty-four hours have been kind of rough. One of my best friend’s mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer over a year ago. She beat the cancer but after having to have several surgeries while her body was weakened caused other complications. After some ups and downs, things started to look increasingly more promising until yesterday. Things suddenly took a terrible turn and it became a matter of just trying to keep her comfortable.
I was incredibly upset, but it really hit me the hardest when my friend said through her tears “she was supposed to be there to see me audition for Cirque, to go to my wedding and to see my kids-her grandkids…” Being at the place that I am in my life where I’m discussing my future plans and I’ve become very aware of my parents age, it can be a little scary to think about the things that can happen. I know that I can’t control some things, but I do know that it really makes me appreciate all the time that I have already have and know that I will have with my parents.