We all come to the point in our lives when we feel like every summer is balled up into weddings and showers and a few good holidays. But, I guess we’re at “that age” where everyone is getting married (guilty) and having babies (not guilty).
However, there are few things to keep in mind while attending a wedding AND when you are planning them (from the invited perspective). I was fortunate enough to plan my wedding on a budget. Fortunate you may ask? Yes. I was able to plan a country-club type wedding, open bar and honeymoon for around $10k. Yes, you can breathe. Through this process and being invited to some other weddings, I have started to pick up on a few things here and there.
If you are invited to a wedding, here’s a few things to keep in mind:
- Don’t you DARE even contemplate wearing white. This should clearly require no explanation. However, some people are a little dense. White is CLEARLY reserved for the bride and/or groom. This is their day, not yours. Remember that.
- Keeping that in mind, don’t dress like you are going to a friggin night club. The feel and design of the invitation (unless otherwise stated) should be able to let you know what is APPROPRIATE, yes APPROPRIATE to wear. You have to keep in mind where the ceremony will be held. If you are attending a religious ceremony, please keep in mind that you are there as a guest of the bride/groom. Honor that. Like I said, you are going to some dark corner of a club to get felt up.
- Dress comfortably. Typically churches/reception halls/banquet halls and the like are going to be on the colder side. They plan for a larger amount of people. This includes body heat and the nervousness of those getting married. Be smart, bring a sweater.
- Do not look like a clown. C’mon ladies we all know the Make-Up 101. Easy on the lids, neutral on the lips. Unless this is a themed or explicitly stated, don’t walk in looking like you just made out with Ronald McDonald.
These are not intended to single the ladies out. Guys, this goes for you too! Take these and remember them. Remind your +1′s if you have them for these things. They are a reflection of you.
Now, everyone’s wedding is going to be different. There are different family traditions, religious customs, different ceremonies and honestly the list can go on and on and on and on and on an…well you get the idea. So, I won’t be getting toospecific with my suggestions. These are more like FYI’s to remember.
- Adhere to your RSVP. Do not reach out to anyone prior. It’s not very respectful and come across kinda tacky. No one wants that stigma to begin with this. Keep this in mind for bridal shower (if you are having one and involved) and for your wedding invites. There could numerous things that could be holding someone up. They could be securing travel plans, babysitters, etc. Remember that they are trying to make this work for you.
- After the RSVP date, you can start to bother UNLESS it’s a Sunday when you don’t get the mail. We all know how reliable and wonderful the USPS is.
- Make sure you arm your invited guests with enough information. You will thank yourself later for this. Make sure to include directions, accommodation cards and your RSVP card with a stamped return envelope (I did post cards but they already had stamps on them!). Directions-self explanatory and these are life savers for out of town guests. Accommodation cards are the same thing. This makes it a little easier (and sometimes cheaper!) for guests to have a place to stay the night of your wedding. Also, some hotels will have a shuttle service for anyone that needs a ride back from the reception venue and/or the airport. This may be an additional charge but no one is drinking and driving or spending money for a cab/rental car. RSVP cards should include a space for a yes/no attendance, the number of guests per that invite and dinner choices. If you are having a buffet style dinner, it’s nice to just let the guests know so they can prepare (some might have food allergies, diet restrictions, etc).
- NEVER and I mean NEVER include your registry card in your invites. It makes it seem that you are desperate for gifts. If you you want to slide some information in, you can just include your website. So many wedding websites are totally free, promise. Most people will be offended and then end up giving you a not so nice gift, if anything at all.
- Make sure to send thank you cards. No one expects you to send them the day after your wedding so you get at least a week off. Most people think that you will on your honeymoon so you won’t have to worry about. But, don’t wait three months to send them out. It’s rude and greedy. Just send thank you cards.
These are just some general tid-bits and nothing uber specific. These are aren’t etiquette rules. These are just more of general, decency guidelines.