Before I met my current boyfriend, I spent 25 years of my life perpetually single, hopping from short fling to dysfunctional fling, to “what the heck is going on here?!” fling, and back again. And it was fine. I LOVED being single. LUURRVED might actually be a better word because I don’t think loved quite cuts it, I enjoyed single life that tremendously (don’t be confused, I LURVE my boyfriend and my new life as part of a duo as well). That being said, I like to think of myself as a “connoisseur” of single life. A concierge, a maven, a master, someone who knows what single gal life is really life. I spent a lot of time hanging out with myself, and it was pretty awesome. Most days I still consider myself a single gal, even if only in spirit (I am a one man lady).
This time of year is a dreaded time of year for single ladies. It’s February, the month of
love, which means Valentine’s Day is coming up. I for one have never been a fan of the holiday. I love hearts, and pink, and chocolate, and puppies, and all other cute things that come along with Valentine’s day. I loved the fling I had with a waiter around Valentine’s Day 2009 (finally, a college guy that had enough money to buy all my drinks at the bar – because obviously that was important in a partner then, oh the priorities of a 21 year old). I s However, I do not love waiting 45 minutes to get a table at a restaurant. I do not love sitting elbow to elbow in a movie theater. I do not love hearing about animals that end up in shelters because they were a Valentine’s Day gift that the receiver wasn’t ready for. I do not love being taken out and spoiled because someone felt OBLIGATED to. I think that’s most people’s complaint with Valentine’s Day. You shouldn’t be told to do something nice for your partner, you should just do it.
Anyhow, I digress. I started this entry with the intention of giving a few pointers on how single gals can enjoy this day (or any day they’re feeling a little lonely, we all get there), despite being surrounded by throngs of cutsie wootsie couples doing cutsie wootsie things. You can take my advice, I am a single gal maven after all…
1. Spend it with your pals! I have some really fond memories of anti-valentine parties with my closest friends (some of whom were in relationships at the time). Throw a party, go out to dinner, laugh at the couples that are putting so much pressure on having a perfect
night, have one too many drinks, and celebrate the importance and power of friendship – it is a relationship after all. I spent several years celebrating Valentine’s Day with one of my best girlfriends, despite our relationship statuses. The only reason we stopped is it’s now a two hour commute to see each other.
2. Watch anti-valentine movies. My recommendations include Annie Hall, 500 Days of Summer, Blue Valentine, Broken Flowers, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Sleepwalk with Me. Few things will make you feel better on Valentine’s Day than a movie marathon of failed relationships. Or any horror flick (if that’s more your thing).
3. Treat yourself girl! Stuck with a bunch of friends that are going on dates for Valentine’s
Day? No worries. This is the perfect opportunity for you to grab the current issue of your favorite magazine/load up your favorite blog/pull out a much loved book, fill up the bathtub, turn on your favorite (soothing) Pandora station, light some candles, and kick back. It may sound cliche (single girl having a bathtub pampering session on Valentine’s Day) but trust me, cliche or not – it’s awesome.
4. Stay up until midnight (or get up early the 15th) then go to the grocery store and buy the discounted candy. Chocolate on sale… does this really need justified?
There ya have it. It’s a made up holiday that makes single ladies feel bad about themselves. Instead of being bummed you don’t have a lover to spend the day with, spend your time celebrating the most important relationship you’ll ever have – the one with yourself.