I hate one of my best friends’ boyfriend.
Well maybe not hate, hate is a strong word. But I really really REALLY dislike him – to the point where I prefer to not be in the same room as him, and if I am I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a fork than make eye contact with him. I didn’t get a good first impression of him. He was drunk, and so was she, so I didn’t really hold it against him. The second
time meeting was less than impressive as well. And each time afterwards, it continued getting worse and worse. I won’t go into detail here, no one wants his/her dirty laundry aired on the internet (this shit never goes away), but I do think my smart, beautiful, kind, strong friend is settling. Big time.
So where do I go from here? I’m sure talking shit on him with my other girlfriends is counterproductive, but it’s the only way we’ve been able to deal with the situation so far. A group of us tried telling her how we felt about him (one at a time, in separate conversations) but it was to no avail. I think for the most part we all told her we’d give him another chance, but I’ve had enough. Now I’m faced with the question of, should I tell her I hate her boyfriend, or just keep my mouth shut and go with the flow? She seems happy, but I can feel our friendship unraveling a little more every time I make another excuse to get out of hanging out (when I know he’ll be around). I’ve been so torn about what to do, I took to trusty ol’ Google to try and figure out what I should do next. Much to my surprise (or maybe not to surprising) my search string of “should I tell my friend I don’t like her boyfriend” came back with results from places like friendship.com, and gurl.com. Now both of these website were MY JAM when I was a preteen, but they aren’t really cutting it now. Is this the proof I needed that my concerns are below my age level? My friend is a grown ass woman capable of making her own decisions, so should I just let her be?
I know it’s possible to find someone that gets along with your friends. I’ve never been willing to sacrifice my female friends for my romantic life(seriously, one previous terrible relationship ended after he called my friends “nobodys” – rather than due to one of the many times he cheated on me. It’s F’ed, I know). Maybe I’m being too critical or hold my standards too high for friends’ boyfriends? But I think he should do his damn best to try and impress us ladies, we were here before him, we’ll be here when he isn’t, and like it or not – we’re part of the deal. Ladies, lady companionship is important!
I’m lucky that I date someone that is so easy to get along and goof with. Sometimes I worry my friends like my boyfriend more than they like me (we’re all so similar, if I’m crazy about him, I should expect them to love him too). Just kidding. Sort of.